A Rumination

I knew I loved him
When his suffering
Left me
Through battered black bruises

Even then, he wondered
About forever
But fuck forever
I had known entire months
With him—
Complete

The evening he last spent
I yearned for meeting
His dry, deep pink lips
But received a tormented hug:
Almost brimming yet too barren

As if to say:
"I have to go"
All I wanted was
To hold on
We will not meet again:

My Heart
Hold on
B(l)eating—barely breathing
Bitterly breathing
I know

We will not share
Wine from the same glass
We will not hold hands
While walking or watching TV
He lives by the sky
And I by the earth
And the same love planted
Keeps us alive

I know:
Calamity calmly came
For he prophesied hell together
So letting go
Was no longer a choice

Now as he lives and he breathes
Grief grows grief
So I know of grieving
alone

And though I scarcely
Think of him now
And sometimes sporadically
I smile
Reducing him to insignificance
Has not obliterated his mark
Shiningly stuck on my soul

He lies immortalized
In every line I write

How do I really let go
Of my green-eyed Muse

I’m afraid
to know.